Parent's Corner

Airlines and Aspergers
by Elle Bowen
(Dec. 01)

It was our second trip to Europe with the kids. We were headed for two weeks that would include Paris, Florence, and Tuscany region of Italy. All of us were extremely excited, especially my son, Danny, age 10, who had researched all of Tuscany and the walled cities and sights. After boarding our somewhat delayed Air France flight, we were finally seated, "Seat belts buckled, tray table in stowed position, seats in upright position" and ready for lift off. After about 10 minutes, the pilot announced that there was a minor mechanical problem and that we would be delayed for about 20 mins. That 20 minutes stretched to half an hour… and Danny started to get anxious about what was causing the delay. I asked the flight attendant to find out, and she dismissed it as just a small delay. After another 10 minutes had passed, the pilot again came over the loud speaker and announced that a part was not operating and that a new one was on its way. Another 20 mins passed and I could feel the entire plane getting restless. Danny who had calmly been reading a book, started to ask me again what was wrong, I told him they were working on the problem, and gave him his Game Boy to play with. This distraction lasted all of 3 minutes, before he again started to ask me again what was wrong. I pulled out snacks, paper and markers and passed them to Danny, who proceeded to throw them on the floor and started to raise his voice, " Tell the pilot to take off anyway…the part isn't important!" He unbuckled his seat belt and stood up. I knew, then, that we had advanced from the Rumbling Stage into the Rage Stage, but knew we had no where to go! At this point the Flight Attendant rushed over and firmly told Danny to sit down. He leapt up, tried to climb over me and started screaming, "I am going to the front to kill the pilots! "…An audible gasp was heard throughout the plane as I grabbed Danny and begged him to calm down! I was starting to tear up. Somehow, miraculously, it seemed to work and he started to slowly compose himself just as the pilot announced that the repair had been made and we were cleared for take-off.

That was over two years ago, and I shudder to think what would happen if the same thing happened today, in these sensitive times. My son has Aspergers Syndrome, a form of high functioning Autism that may result in inappropriate behavior when he is under stress or anxiety. The resulting actions or words are involuntary, and neither willful, nor malicious. At barely 90 pounds, Danny posed no threat to the pilots…but Aspergers cannot be cured or outgrown, and coping strategies must be taught at an early age. I have spent the last 10 years of my life trying to find out what was "wrong" with my son, only to discover 2 years ago, that he struggled with this real-life disability. Through modifications in both his home and school life, we have limited his stressors and have taught him how to cope better with stressful situations. Through Social Stories, (or scripts) we have tried to prepare him for the "unexpected" and furnish him with a prepared response. Many times, I feel like we are acting in a play, with special lines and actions that need to be rehearsed, over and over! Danny is now 12, and functioning well in a public Middle School. He is exceptionally gifted and takes advanced Math, French, and does extended projects in all other subjects. He is also known as a sweet, lovable kid, who is well respected by his teachers and peers alike. But, his interest in peers and having friends is limited and he is still prone to "meltdowns" when he is unprepared for the "unexpected". And the "unexpected" still occurs. Life is full of "unexpecteds"!

In these difficult times, we all have a responsibility to be tolerant and understanding of many types of people, but also, have a responsibility to feel safe and let others feel safe, too.

In February of 2002, we are taking a vacation to Colorado, and I plan to go early to the airport and meet with the airline personnel to help them understand Aspergers and my son…hopefully, we can prepare him better this time for the "unexpected" delays!