Hello There!

I'd like to introduce my book The Mom's Guide to Asperger Syndrome. As most books, this has been a labor of love, written as a way to capture all the information that I had gathered as the mom of an "Aspie" and share it with other parents who face similar challenges and joys.

It became clear to me early on that the best way to parent an Asperger child was by being as "smart" as I could: reading, researching, attending lectures, and working with professionals. I had the time and the desire to do the legwork, but not every parent is able to do so. The Mom's Guide is my small gift to those parents. Topics range from how to get a diagnosis for a child to handling stress in the family - and pretty much everything else in between. The book even gives explicit advice about how to help generate friendships for your child - like hosting a theme-based mini-camp in your backyard for all the second grade boys! Exhausting? Sure, but it works!

As a professional writer for 20 years, and nearing my completion of my Master's of Arts in counseling psychology, I hope that I have succeeded in writing a thorough but readable guide that parents will refer to time and time again. In fact, my hope is that by the time your child starts middle school, this book will be so dog-eared, highlighted and worn out it will be ready for the trash!

I hope you enjoy this book half as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Best regards,

Jan Johnston-Tyler

	Building Social Relationships: A Systematic Approach to Teaching Social Interaction Skills to Children and Adolescents With Autism Spectrum Disorders and Other Social Difficulties. by Scott Bellini I wish I had this book when my son was younger. More important, I wish the staff at his school had this book! This book is filled with practical advice on how to proactively build social skills.
	Simple Strategies That Work! Helpful Hints for All Educators of Students with Asperger Syndrome, High-Functioning Autism, and Related Disabilities by Brenda Smith Myles, Diane Adreon, and Dena Gitlitz A perfect book for busy teaching professionals and para-educators of young children with Asperger Syndrome, this book provides concrete examples of how to work most effectively with these children in short, succinct steps.
	Asperger Syndrome and Adolescence: Practical Solutions for School Success by Brenda Smith Myles and Diane Adreons An excellent resource for parents coping with kids who are struggling with rage and frustration. I referred to this book time and time again, and learned something new each time.

This is an excerpt from pgs. 275-276 of The Mom's Guide to Asperger Syndrome and Related Disorders by Jan Johnston-Tyler.

Your Unfulfilled Expectations
Along with looking at your child as a whole person, you need to examine your own unfulfilled expectations. This process doesn't get enough attention, in my opinion. Having a child with special needs means that something has been lost, no matter how minor, and as parents, we need to be respectful of our own need to grieve over the loss of "normalcy" (whatever that means).

If you were really good in sports as a child, it may be difficult for you to raise a child who is clumsy, awkward, and fears any type of sport. You may be grieving for a lost chance to interact with your child in something that is important to you, something you had as a child.

If you were very social and popular as a child, it may be difficult for you to have a shy and socially withdrawn child who has few friends. You may have fond memories of neighborhood kids running in and out of your house, sleepovers, birthday parties and the like - experience that your child doesn't have, at least not to the same extent.

This can be painful, and it will likely bring up feelings of loss and grief. It may also make you a "super parent," who will try anything to achieve for her child what she had as a child herself, because we tend to equate our happiness in childhood with our children's happiness. Whether we like it or not, we have a strong tendency to live through our children. This is partly because we are so psychically and emotionally linked to them that it is sometimes hard to recognize and respect boundaries between ourselves and our offspring.

What is important to remember here is that although we have the right to grieve over our loss, we must make sure that we are not trying to remake our children into ourselves or into some idealized, socially approved child, without regard for his or her individuality. Seeing your child holistically instead of as a set of symptoms goes a long way. Look at the strengths you can encourage her to develop. Look at what interests her; what she is passionate about. Look at what she is already masterful at. There is so much in any child, if we only try to find it.

If your child is truly driving you wild, you may need to examine your expectations. Is it possible that he's driving you crazy because he isn't the type of child you had dreamed you'd be raising one day? Is it possible that the problem lies more in what you want him to be rather than with who he is?